The weather is shite, my mood is shite, my babies are poorly so feel shite and to top it all off……
I lost my fecking job! Company is downsizing so last in is first out 😦
Do you ever wonder about old friends? Friends that have done you wrong?
Friends not just any friend but a best friend, a best friend who crushed your world when you found them sound asleep with your boyfriend spooning her and his boxer shorts on the floor next to the bed….
When confronted with the picture above and he mutters the words “it’s not what it looks like” what do you do?
You turn and run and never look back!
So why after 20 years do you allow the memories to creep back in, why you you relive the hurt and humiliation you felt at the time, why do you wonder what she is up to now and if she’s happy.
why do you ever give her a second thought?
I was a bitch a complete and utter bitch…….I was 13/14 yrs old and a boy I used to attend a club with asked me out and I laughed in his face…..
It’s looking back on things I realised I hated my life and I hated myself.
I took it out on others around me and he was one of them and I feel bad every time I think back on it……
I remember him looking at me and few times that evening and then him walking over to me and stuttering out the words ‘will you go out with me’ so what did I do, I laughed at him and I replied ‘with you’ and I think I may of even followed it up with ‘do I look blind’ before walking off continuing to laugh.
My life growing up was never an easy one, I hated males (for reasons I’m not going into now) I used to have very low self esteem so I made others (mainly males) around me feel small so I could feel better about my myself and that poor boy did not have a clue about me or my life but somehow got caught up in it all, why? because he thought I was a nice person which is why I’m guessing he asked me out, he was so wrong, if I could turn back the clock I may say yes and give him a chance or at least say I’m sorry I’m not allowed a boyfriend or even I like you just as a friend……
I dealt him the lowest blow I could that night and I was so wrong and I’m saying to him now I am sorry, I am sorry I laughed at you and I can now imagine how much pain I caused you that evening.
I know you got over me as I saw you a few months later with your girlfriend, I was friends with your neighbours children,I made sure you never saw me when I visited as I had not only embarrassed you I had embarrassed myself that night too.
that was no excuse for my behaviour but the one thing I eventually learned from that night is the simple saying ‘treat others how you wish to be treated yourself’
Sorry again for being a bitch.
Halfway point in summer holidays and so far my children (and teens) have all been fine…..
The husband on the other hand has gone and got himself a six foot bloody fish tank that has no where to go!
so far it has been moved around 5 times and still won’t properly fit in.
why you may wonder did he do such a stupid thing?
it’s all because he wanted one (yes one) stupid 5 inch fish and it needs a 4-6 foot tank to happily live in.
well I really hope my husband and his fish will be happy together.
I’m going to move into the garden shed and turn it into a nice quiet book corner, with a nice soft sofa, thick pile carpet and book shelfs full of trashy ‘chick lit’ that I can read and don’t have to remember any of it once I have finished the book.
I deactivated my Facebook last week and I’m starting to realise how much I just used to flick through it when I was bored, I’m now wondering how long before I get out of the habit of going to check it forgetting I no longer have it?
I’m tired, I’m grumpy did I say I was tired and grumpy, I’m not sleeping at night as I go to bed and I think best get to sleep as I have work tomorrow and then I can’t sleep!
I do actually like my job but sometimes it just feels like its not worth it.
Still not in a routine for work or housework, getting upset as I don’t have enough hours in the day to do anything.
DH can’t stick to the smaller DC’s routine so it feels so hard when I’m trying or I come home late and the DC’s are not ready or bed or bathed.
Please all you working mums tell me this gets easier 😦
No more heard from last post so less said about that the better!
On a happier note, I have 1 teen off to college in sept on the course he wanted.
1 teen starts work next week.
1 teen is job hunting after not getting his college place.
My last teen is finally getting the special needs help at school we have been fighting to get for the last 4 years 🙂